Journal

Over the last few months, I have begun to refer to Cognita Spirare as my online journal and, given the change of direction it has taken over time, that's probably a more apt thing to call whatever it is that I do here.

Dash's first Halloween has now come and gone. We attended the Udvar Hazy Air and Scare again this year and loved every minute of it!

We also attended a few other events that gave the girls the excuse to put on her their costumes.

Cedar Lane Harvest Festival

Nursing while passing out candy

Ward Chili Cookoff

There have been a few firsts in this household just since Saturday and most of them involve our Spitfire.
Late last week she discovered that her front bottom teeth were loose.

 I assumed incorrectly that she'd be like her big sister and it would be weeks before her tooth came out.
This is the last picture of her with all her baby teeth intact.

She complained that it was hurting as church ended on Sunday so I took a quick look. It was incredibly loose and I knew it was coming out that night! She let me take one attempt with a paper towel, just gripping it, but that didn't work. Next up was to tie a knot around it with dental floss. On the first little tug her tooth went flying.
She was a little upset because it hurt a bit and was bleeding, but fascination over the gap quickly took over!

It may be sheer coincidence that The Reader lost a tooth that morning, but it was a fun coincidence!

The tooth fairy had double duty at our house that night! We do $5 for the first tooth and $1 for each tooth thereafter. I had $8 in my wallet so everything was great, right?

Except that I had forgotten that I had given Reader the cash for her school lunch account on Friday. Whoops! That realization at 3am resulted in a quiet but frantic treasure hunt through the house for change. I managed to scrounge up just enough for the tooth fairy to leave  the promised funds. Spitfire was excited to see so many coins and that made me feel a little better.

The next change occurred the very next day. It was decided that with such nice weather, overcast but pleasant temperatures, we'd hike up the hill and let the girls get their hair cut. Spitfire went from this:

To this: 

She loves it because it doesn't tangle. We left the house 5 minutes early this morning for the bus because I didn't have to brush her hair and put it up. It was really nice!

Spitfire and Reader both finished their school fundraiser last week as well. This year they had a Fun Run and gathered donations for each lap they ran. Spitfire ran more laps than any other female kindergartener!

On the much-less-exciting list, I met with Dr. H yesterday. I am pretty sure I ovulated last Wednesday. I had all the secondary signs Sunday-Tuesday and my opk was almost positive Wednesday. I think it was catching the tail end of my surge since it got progressively lighter over the next 24 hours. I started lovenox shots Friday using some that I still had laying around. Dr. H wrote out a prescription for more as well as for progesterone, which I started last night using the last 2 suppositories I had left from Dash.

I will take a pregnancy test early next week and then again next Wednesday. If they're negative, as I expect them to be, then I'll stop the progesterone and wait until at least early April before we do anything ttc related again. This is our one shot month for now because of the schedule we have for late summer and all of fall. I simply can't risk being pregnant and due for delivery during that time.

Our chances are less than slim, but better than zilch, so I'll take it. This is probably one of the only cycles where I have a definite "Thy Will, O Lord, be done" feeling. I'm really okay with however this turns out. When our ttc window opens up again in April-ish, that attitude will likely change. I'll be 36 by then and as far back as I can find, no woman in my family on either side has ever had a child beyond the age of 34.

When I was 32 I was already struggling with diminished ovarian reserve, so my biological clock is running very short. Dr. H did say that if more than a few months pass, she recommended that we go back to Shady Grove to talk about using some meds again to help with ovulation. It was nice to see that she was understanding and didn't want to see me waiting months and months to seek treatment.

I feel good about all of it. I'm not exactly optimistic about this one cycle, but hey, what can you do? I was not about to stop nursing my baby to make my period show up again. Nursing her means more to me than having another baby. She deserves everything I have to give to her here and now and we worked through far too much to "set her aside" for another and doing anything more than I've done would feel just like that.