40 Weeks vs 19 Days

Rather than hitting my due date tonight, I am watching my 19 day old baby sleep in my lap.
She's grown so much she barely fits in my lap even with her feet curled up.
Love this not-so-little Dash!

15 Days

I am now 15 days postpartum and Dash and I are settling into a decent routine. She sleeps a lot, especially at night.
You know how they say "Never wake a sleeping baby?"
Well that's crap when your baby is slow to put on weight. Her feeding troubles are resolving slowly and she'll actively suck from one breast, but needs coercion on the other side. It is frustrating, but she's learning how to use her new tongue and it takes time.
I am almost healed up from the disaster she created while nursing in the first week and once she's latched on, can nurse her with only minor discomfort. The progress has been huge! Getting her started is still a painful process but I no longer have toe curling pain the entire time, so I'll take it!
One of the issues Dash and I have had to deal with is pressure from her doctors about her weight. Although she was born at 7lbs 2oz, by 2 days old she was only 6lbs 5oz. She lost almost a full pound and the doctors really wanted me to supplement with formula since she'd lost over 10% of her body weight and was fighting jaundice. I really did not want to supplement with formula! I knew that she'd be able to put weight on once her lip and tongue ties were taken care of so it was just a matter of making it to that point. My milk transitioned nicely all day Saturday and into Sunday. By her weight check on Monday afternoon, Dash was up to 6lbs 9oz, so she'd made some decent progress in just 2 days. Tuesday, at 5 days old, she had her ties taken care of and healing for both of us could begin. At 8 days old, she was up to 6lbs 11oz, still slow to gain and again I was encouraged to supplement with formula.
Again, I refused.
We met with our lactation consultant from the hospital both the day after her ties were removed as well as 5 days later. I was given some excellent help on making a cream to help heal my nipples faster as well as how to encourage Dash to learn how to suck again.
For those who are interested, the cream is known as APNO: All Purpose Nipple Ointment. It's made up of equal parts hydrocortisone cream, anti-fungal cream, and polysporin (an antibacterial ointment). There is a prescription version available with a steroid in it, but most insurance companies don't cover it and the local cost is about $145.
I already had everything but polysporin on hand, so my cost was about $2. And the cream works!!
Also makes a fabulous butt rash cream!
The most helpful part about Monday's meeting with Jennifer, our LC? Getting a number of ounces to shoot for in a 24 hour period. said she really needs to get 16 ounces of breastmilk each day to put on weight at this age.
For the next few days, during long naps I used my breastpump and would then give Dash a bottle with 1.5-2oz of milk while she slept. I also encouraged my milkflow while she was sucking to increase how quickly she fed as well as how much she drank before nodding off to baby lala land.
Her 2 week check-up was yesterday and her weight? 7lbs 1.4oz!!
Basically back to birth weight, which is generally the goal for all babies, whether formula fed or breastfed. I couldn't help but grin at what we had accomplished in 3 days.
I'm also down 22 pounds myself and have 22ish to go. The second 22 pounds will certainly take longer to lose, but I don't mind (no, really--I'm totally okay with it taking a few months because I know it'll come off). I'm ready to be back in real clothes though. My maternity pants are all too big and my maternity shirts looks pretty ridiculous, too.
My husband went to the storage unit this morning and should be back soon with some clothes for me to wear. I hope there are a few things that fit!
If not, guess who gets to go shopping??
Just one pair of jeans and a button-up shirt or two should be enough to tie me over until I'm back into my 8s.

13 Days Postpartum and feeling fabulous

Living Up to a Nickname

Our daughter is here! Although many of you probably knew this already, I thought I'd take some time and tell you about the adventures we encountered on Thursday.

I didn't sleep well Wednesday night, which really wasn't a surprise at all. I gave up around 3:30 and went downstairs and had some red raspberry leaf tea, played games on my phone, and listened to my favorite Hypnobabies track.

At 5am, my husband got up and showered and I crawled back into bed to close my eyes for a little bit, knowing I wouldn't sleep but enjoying the peace and quiet. Half an hour later, I hopped in the shower and locked as much as I could about how I felt physically into my memories.  Each little kick, wiggle, and squirm during the shower is something I will remember for the rest of my life.

My clothes and tiara were next on the list!

Around 6am, the phone call came in that school was on a 2-hour delay due to road conditions in another part of the county.  This helped ease the stress of the morning because it meant we didn't have to rush to get our daughters ready for the day.

My mother-in-law arrived and my husband and I said our goodbyes and made the relaxing and short drive to the hospital.

As we walked across the parking lot, my OB pulled in next to us with what can only be called promptness uncharacteristic of the profession!

Alicia, our labor and delivery nurse from Jackson's delivery, greeted us and gave me a big hug. It was great to see a face who understood what it meant for me to be there that morning. She escorted us to our room, where I changed into my hospital gown and my husband began blowing up the yoga ball. My IV was placed, some blood drawn to check my clotting time, and the saline drip was turned to low. The cordless monitors weren't working, so initially I was hooked up to the old-fashioned ones that required I stay in bed.

The doctor checked me and found I was just where I'd been a week before, 2-3cm dilated but now 70% effaced. She then left to do a planned c-section on another patient and promised to come back. About an hour later, she returned and broke my water.

The pitocin was then turned on to 2mL/hr, a nice slow start. It was 9am.

Over the next two hours, the pitocin was slowly turned up, eventually reaching 10mL/hr. Contractions were getting stronger and the pressure was intense to say the least. With each contraction I rocked on my ball, but then dizziness set in to a point where being on the ball was no longer safe, even with my head resting on the bed. I climbed back in the bed and realized there was no way I was going to make it through the rest of the labor without some help unless I was getting close.

So at 11am, I asked Alicia to check me. I was only 4 cm!

I caved and asked for an epidural. What I didn't realized then that I can see in hindsight is that although I was only 4cm, I'd hit transition and Alicia knew it. Another nurse was brought in and the delivery cart with all the tools and gloves was set up by Jessica, who I knew from my two previous pregnancies.

Jessica is a nurse practitioner at my previous OBs office and was the first to have me listen to the heartbeat of the daughter we lost in 2012. She's a little older and has impeccable bedside manner, so having her there, and with her knowledge of my pregnancy losses, was a calming touch.

It was at this point that my OB came flying into the room, purse in hand, office clothes on, and asking if she had time to change. Yes, Alicia knew what I did not and had paged my doctor. Time was running out!

The anesthesiologist came in and started setting up. During that time, I was quickly losing control and threatening to break my husbands hand with each contraction. As the anesthesiologist and I discussed pain management, it became pretty clear that he didn't intend to let me get numb because "it might slow the pushing process".

With both of my first 2 labors, within 3 contractions of the epidural being placed I had full relief. This guy? No! He said it'd take about 15 minutes to set in, which when you're contracting every 2 minutes or so, with only about 60 seconds of relief at best, that 15 minutes is an eternity!

I was getting the urge to push, but a quick check showed I was only 6cm, so that wasn't going to be allowed or I'd tear my cervix and I certainly didn't want that.

To make matters worse, the epidural only brought a small amount of relief to my left side and almost no relief to my right side. I never lost mobility of my legs, but got enough relief to let go of the squeezed hand. This was not anywhere near enough to be able to joke about anything.

My doctor returned and the need to push set in, although it felt much more like the urge to move my bowels than I'd expected. A mirror allowed me to watch some of the delivery, but the doctor's arm ended up blocking to view once the crown of her head was in sight.

Had I realized just how fast I was going to go from 4cm to holding my baby, I would have saved myself the hope of relief from an epidural and just slugged along.

Pushing took longer with Dash than it did with my second, but was still pretty quick! At 11:53am, I was holding my daughter, filled with relief and simply amazed that she was here.

I held her, wrapped in a towel while we waited for her umbilical cord to empty. With the extra time, my husband was able to rub her head of hair, study her fingers, and take a picture of the two of us. Once the cord was clamped and shut, he also was able to watch the placenta deliver, something he'd never seen before.

She came so fast that I ended up with a second degree tear. An episiotomy was done to prevent further tearing, but it meant I needed stitches. I felt every tug and pull of that needle, but since I was holding Dash, I simply didn't care!

From the time my pitocin was turned on until delivery was under 3 hours. Dash lived up to her nickname once again!

At 37w+1d, Dash weighed 7lbs 2oz. She was perfectly healthy! She had no trouble breathing, maintained her body temperature perfectly, and was eager to nurse.

Throughout the labor, my thoughts turned frequently to my mother, who was present for the birth of my first 2 daughters. I kept looking over to the empty rocking chair in the room, expecting to see her there. I missed having her hold my leg, standing opposite my spouse. And I missed having her hold my little baby, swaddled in her hospital blanket.

What I didn't expect was how infrequently my thoughts turned to Jackson. My labor was so quick I didn't have time to make the comparisons I had expected to. I subconsciously kept my ear on Dash's heartbeat throughout labor, hearing the minor fluctuations in its speed and worrying but in a more abstract manner than I had expected. The fear as her heart would slow a little was minor and then another contraction would hit and I couldn't think about anything other than hoping it was preparing my body for delivery.

Nursing there in labor and delivery was not at all the experience I'd hoped for, and there's an entire post for me to dedicate to that next! Hint: She's had two oral procedures since birth and she's only 5 days old today!

**For privacy reasons, Dash's legal name is being withheld. Thank you for understanding!**

37 weeks and Full Term

During the fall of 2013, the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists narrowed the definition of "full term" for pregnancy.

Previously, a baby was considered full term if he or she was born between 37 weeks 0 days and 42 weeks 0 days.

The new parameters are narrower and include "early term" and "late term".

Full term is now considered to be 39 weeks 0 days until 40 weeks 6 days.  A baby born between 37+0 and 38+6 would be considered early term and those born in week 41+0 to 41+6 would be late term. Any baby born after 42+0 is considered post term.

You can read more about the changes here.

Under this definition, both of my daughters were born early term and Dash will be joining them with that distinction.

I have one more full day of being pregnant and then it's time to encourage this little lady to exit her bath and begin life outside the womb, where my fears will be her catching the awful flu that's going around instead of our placenta deciding it's completely done and not giving us enough warning.

I've had a lot on my mind the last few days and so has my husband.  I know he's been experiencing some significant levels of apprehension regarding the birth of our daughter and what that means for us as a family.

On Sunday, he saw something that set all those nerves aside and put a warmth in his heart that was much needed. Sitting several rows in front of us, but within our sight at church, was a father my husband has known for 20 years (although the man was only about 12 years old when they met). This father was holding his adorable sleeping baby girl, who was born about a month and a half ago.

The sight reminded my husband of one reason why we spent so much money and emotional effort in trying to bring a third child into our family.

LOVE

We don't know this little girl very well yet, but we love her with all of hearts and in a matter of hours we'll be able to share that love with her and her big sisters.

Yes, I am to the point where I am counting down the hours until her arrival (give or take a few!)

As children, both my husband and I were raised in families that followed the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We grew up and eventually we each made the decision that we believed the teachings.

One of the aspects of our youth that we both treasure has always been the start of the school year, when our father's would give us Priesthood Blessings. Blessings can be given for any number of reasons, but preparing for big changes is absolutely one of them!

It was in a blessing before the school year started in 2012 that we were given a sort of warning that my pregnancy wouldn't end well.

We took advantage of the time we had on Sunday and each of us girls were given a blessing from my husband. Our daughters have been experiencing a variety of emotions with the upcoming changes and their father was able to address those and to give them inspired guidance or counsel on how to handle the new roles they will each be taking on.

My blessing is something that I'll remember for the rest of my life, but it isn't something I want to explain at length here because it was a truly sacred experience.  I think the blessing caught both my husband and myself off-guard in a truly wonderful way.

The next blessing he'll give will likely be the "name and a blessing" traditionally given to new babies. I discussed my feelings on this in a previous blog post but as a quick reminder, I don't like them to be public and my experiences of late have only solidified my desire to keep those in attendance very small.

But before that can happen, our little girl needs to arrive safe and sound.  So here we go!!

(Picture to be added later)

36 Weeks and PDB

We've made it. I am having a hard time believing it, but we've made it to 36 weeks!

Saturday we picked up the missing screws to the crib at Home Depot and right as I was dumping the first opened package into my palm, our 8 year old came into the room with the bag of missing bolts. Ha! They were in the very bottom of the smaller toolbox, probably the one place we hadn't searched already.

I'll be able to return the other 3 packages, but will just keep the ones I opened around the house since they're actually a pretty useful size.

So here I am.

I am PDB. Pretty Darn Big.

But not huge. I have a hard time imagining ever going past 40 weeks, not just because I've never done it but because my babies like to engage in the pelvis weeks before they deliver and that makes movement a lot more difficult than when they're still floating up in the uterus.

I could tell when Dash had engaged because I went from being able to bend over and tie my shoes to doing some seriously bizarre looking maneuvers to get my shoes on, much less tied!

I don't feel all that big when I look down at my tummy when I'm sitting or standing, but when I see it in the mirror and in photos or when I'm trying to roll over at night, it appears to double in size.

But I love it. I love feeling all those kicks and squirms. I love the contractions, too. I won't love them so much next week, but for now I know they're preparing my body for what's coming and that is of great comfort to me.

If it wasn't so stinkin' cold outside, I go for a long walk everyday since walking clearly triggers more contractions, and better yet, they're the kind that I can feel way down low, which I'll need to deliver this little miracle.

Tomorrow I have my last two appointments. It will make for a busy day, but I'm very excited to see my little girl on the inside one last time before I get to hold her.

One week from tomorrow, I will get to hold this little miracle and then share her with her father. And when we're ready, we'll share her with the rest of you, too.

Unexpected Changes

Today I had appointments with my OB and the substitute doctor for me MFM.
My OB appointment went much better than expected. She ran the beta strep test as well as a secondary swab for a bacterial infection at my request.
I then had my first cervical exam and was only partially surprised. The part I rather expected was that Dash is in -2 station. Her head is fully engaged and there's no concern for umbilical cord prolapse when my water breaks. Yay!
The part that surprised me a little was that I'm 2cm dilated and 50% effaced. I expected maybe a fingertip dilated, but 2cm is even better!
Dr. Mills says I may not even pitocin to start labor but breaking my water may be all we need. She also approved the use of a saline lock, rather than an IV. The saline lock will allow me to walk around freely without plastic tubes dangling eveywhere but will also allow them to draw blood or dispense any IV meds if needed.
My personal preference would be to start a low dose of pitocin for an hour or so, then turn it off and see if my labor keeps going on its own without breaking my water. However, we'll see how it all goes soon enough.
My MFM appointment was also mixed. I knew I was seeing the substitute doctor but hadn't expected an intern ultrasound technician to do the growth scan. She got all the necessary measurements, it just took a little time.
Dash is measuring in the 49th percentile and weighing in around 5lbs 13oz and "breathing" as if she has already been born.
My anti-Xa results were also in and not as good as in the past. My result was 0.61, which is in therapeutic range, but just barely. The substitute asked how many hours after injection the test had been run (3, as usual) and decided that I needed a dose increase since the range values are based on 4-6 hours post injection and by then, my value would have continued to drop and I'd be out of range.
Effective immediately, my dose is 70mg twice daily.
Lovenox doesn't come in a 70mg dose, so I'll be "dumping" 10mg out of my new 80mg syringes before each injection.
I feel a lot better with bumping up the dose. Dash, although very active and growing, has continued to drop percentiles and that makes me nervous.
We are close. . . but we aren't out of the woods yet.

35 Weeks and Shoveling Snow

We've had a cold few days here in Northern Virginia!

This morning the "Real Feel" temperature was about 6 below zero. And that's Fahrenheit, not Celsius.

On Tuesday, just over 4" of snow fell and I decided that shoveling a little snow and clearing off the van would be good for me. The snow was a super light, fine powder and that made it very easy to shovel. In the back of my mind I was hoping the exercise would help with bringing on contractions, but it didn't do a thing while I was shoveling!

I stopped every few minutes to do a quick check for my pulse and baby movement and everything stayed in balance nicely.

While I shoveled, the 4 older children also played in the snow and the two infants slept all snuggled up in the stroller.  It made for a very fun morning!

By evening, contractions kicked in!! So although the shoveling had a delayed response, it did what I'd hoped it would do.  It feels like Dash is sitting even lower now--if that's even possible--and some of my contractions can also be felt in my cervix, which in the long run are the most important kind because those are the kind that will bring Dash into the world in a couple of weeks.

Our street was a giant sheet of ice yesterday, so my husband chose to stay home, especially since my contractions had been so intense the night before. This allowed me to easily get my final anti-Xa test done (he drove and stayed in the car with the kids while I ran in quickly for the blood draw) and to get a few bins of baby clothes sorted during naptime. We also decided to put the crib together and I'm very glad we chose to do that! It turns out we're missing 12 short bolts so we'll need to make a trip to Home Depot to get them before we finish the assembly.

We'd also forgotten just how big a traditional crib was. I think we had both become accustomed to the dimensions of the port-a-cribs I use for the daycare children.  We'll need to do a little furniture do-si-do once I finish sorting the bins and putting clothes and diapers away.

Almost all of the clothes for the first few months are borrowed and I'm so grateful for those who've so generously allowed us to borrow them.  Our budget has become tighter than it's been in a long time due to my reduced workload and clothing can be really expensive, which hardly seems worth it when babies stay that small for so long! There are only two things that I know we'll need to buy still: a small garbage can with a lid to use as a diaper pail and a changing pad.

I've also been sewing some postpartum supplies and I'm almost done with those as well. The finished products may not be perfectly sewn, but they are very functional and I'm looking forward to avoiding the chemical ridden supplies the vast majority of women in the U.S. use!

I still need to sew some breastpads, but those will be very quick and I don't need too many of them if my past experiences are anything I can trust this time around, too.

Two weeks. . . just 14 days from today . . . and I'll be at the Birthing Inn, preparing to hold my little Rainbow Dash!

35 Weeks

(You know, that silly plunger has been in the background of all these photos and the silliest part? We don't even need it! We replaced that toilet a couple of years ago and haven't even come close to needing a plunger since! Maybe by next week I'll have removed it from the bathroom??)