Well, the 36-48 hours of shock have worn off and fear and anxiety have taken over.
Lots of fear. Lots of anxiety.
Today was my second beta draw. I'll know sometime later tomorrow if my hcg doubled or not. In the meantime, there is nothing I can do but wait and pray.
My RE can get results back in 4-6 hours. This whole "waiting until tomorrow" really sucks.
If I'm going to lose this baby, I'd oh so much prefer to miscarry very early than for things to go the way they did with Jackson.
The phlebotomist asked if I wanted a band-aid. Uh, yeah. I bled through the last one pretty badly. This one was even worse, likely because it was only an hour after my lovenox injection. Sorry for the gore, but the blood was oozing out of the holes in the strip. Thank goodness I keep much heftier band-aids in the glovebox of my van. I placed a huge one right over the top of the pathetic one I'd had placed on me. I also rolled up my cleaning cloth for my sunglasses and placed it in my elbow and bent my arm tight around it to apply pressure the best that I could while driving. The bleeding stopped by the time I got home, but it was rather gross under those bandaids!
I'm using my calming essential oils heavily today. They're diluted to safe levels, but application is occurring frequently to keep my heart from racing and pounding and to keep the clamp-like vice around my chest from getting worse.
As others have said, and as I have told others, "For now, I am pregnant." Worrying won't change the outcome so I just need to breathe.
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