Calls from a Nurse

Tomorrow I head into the local outpatient surgical center for a colonoscopy.

Oh joy.

This morning, a nurse called from the center to review my medical history as well as my instructions for the prep for tomorrow's procedure.

My online history was rather detailed, as I think it ought to be. I included the name of the hematologist I've seen twice, although I have no current plans to see him ever again.  (There is another doctor in the same practice that has come highly recommended so I will see her if the need ever arises.)

The nurse wasn't familiar with APS so we discussed what it was, why I was on baby aspirin, and why I had been on lovenox.  Then of course the reason *why* I won't be seeing Dr. Sarma again: He's one of the three doctors who refused to check my blood when I requested to make sure the lovenox dosing was appropriate. I then explained that since he and two of the doctors at MFMA refused, my son's placenta clotted and he was stillborn 7 weeks ago.

"Oh, my.  I'm so sorry.  Well that certainly explains the PTSD you have listed here as well."

I didn't have the heart to tell her that my PTSD developed after my 12 week loss, but she was on the right track and could then understand that for the colonoscopy tomorrow, I am okay. My body is healed, I've temporarily stopped my baby aspirin, I came off lovenox almost 2 weeks ago, and nothing with respect to tomorrow's procedure should cause any panic attack-type reactions.

By the way, am I the only one who is annoyed that my gastroenterologist  is the one who said lovenox wasn't a problem for the colonoscopy because, "It only has a half-life of 12 hours anyway."

So if even my gastroenterologist knows that lovenox only lasts 12 hours, why in the heck did my hematologist only have me taking it once a day?  Doesn't that seem wrong??

I'm finding support in seemingly random locations.  Most of the support comes from women who have either been through a similar loss, or those who are older and seem to be hardwired with a stronger ability to feel what someone is feeling through their words.

This isn't the first time I've had a conversation like this and I know it isn't the last.  Jackson's birth is not just a part of my emotional life, but my health history, too.

How many times have I been pregnant?  7
How many live births? 2
How many vaginal births? 3

Those numbers should be the same, but they aren't. And every time I fill out a medical history form, I will be reminded of that.